Sean Berry's Thoughts on The Human Mind, Behavior, Movies, Video Games, Television, Technology, Internet, Culture, and Everything Else In Between


The Gum Wars

Posted by sean berry on July 11, 2010 at 12:00 AM Comments comments (0)

I don't know if it is just me, but has any one else noticed the number of different commercials for gum nowadays.  When I was growing up, all I remember is Juicy Fruit commercials, you know, the ones with that catchy song and all those cool and beautiful people just partying it up in the mountains or on some lake.  After all, what does every awesome party and good time have in common?  You got it--people chewing gum.  Ok, well, maybe there is something wrong with that picture.


We are definitely a species with a distinct oral fixation and modern gum has the solution to all of our problems.  Addicted to cigarettes?  We got gum for that.  Addicted to caffeine?  We got gum for that. Getting ready to kiss a cute girl?  We got gum for that, as well. Want strange flavors and sensations in your mouth?  We got gum for that too!  People must really be chewing the shit out of the stuff because how can something which sells for so cheap, be making enough money to market itself so much?

It's no wonder people find comfort in chewing gum, for chewing mimics eating and what more primal an urge do we possess?  It seems like such an empty process to me, as I have never cared for all the chewing I had to do  just to get a little taste of sugar.  I'm the type of guy who will buy a pack of gum and eat just about every piece within a couple minutes of each other.  I like gum over load and when you're done, you have a huge ball of super adhesive gunk at your disposal.  Perhaps one day scientists will be able to convert it to a form of super efficient energy and we can just spit our wads of half chewed gum into our star ships and shoot across the galaxy for some space cocktails with our buddies.

With so much competition going on, what is going to put one gum above the next?  Well, there are only so many flavors, so I think eventually we'll see more gum with effects.  Prozac Gum, Viagra Gum, and Study Gum, not to mention Work Gum, Skinny Gum, and Smart Gum.  We might even be able to alter our own genetic structure via Gene Gum in the far off future.  There is a beauty to gum's efficiency though, because its all around and no one really thinks much of it.  Maybe aliens will infect it one day and that's how they will take us over, not with huge

space ships or death rays, but by tainted gum.


In the end, life is about the little things.  It's all our minuscule habits that coalesce into our overall being, so essentially, we are the things we enjoy and we help create them by maintaining them in the first place. Could it be that something so casual could eventually save the world? Who's to say that vaccines can't be administered via gum?  Whatever the case may be, as long as people are interested in putting things in their mouth and chewing on them, people are going to be, in turn, coming up with new ways to tailor that experience.   So keep on chewing and relish these good old days when gum is just gum and nothing more.